Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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