this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
