Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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