Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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