I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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