This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
