so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
