Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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