True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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