I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I lost the right to judge tonight
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dick very happy bro
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
