My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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