You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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