So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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