glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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