2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
