If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
