i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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