My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
