Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
