I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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