I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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