Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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