What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
