You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize