I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
