margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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