Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
