If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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