Don't you send me to vm
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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