Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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