I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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