I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
