I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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