i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
