i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
