So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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