We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
