Just fell off a train. Bad.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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