Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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