also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
