If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
