thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You ruined the universe
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
