Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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