eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize