Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
