i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
