I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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