don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
