I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
