Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
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You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party