Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
