Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My ATM looks so different sober.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
