She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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