If i come over, it means nothing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
