didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
