look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Congratulations! We have a period
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
