So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
