i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
