This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
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New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around