yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He passed out mid-signature
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
