I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
