a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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