I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
