come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
