Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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